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The Beastmaster - A+ for its forward energy and imagination and its audacity to exactly replicate the juvenile pleasures of Frank Frazetta / Robert E. Howard sword and sorcery pulp, C for its technical struggles, B+ overall because you simply can't give too many fucks about cheap effects or repeated animal cutaways when a film's trying to give you such ludicrous pleasures as fluid-sucking bat-men, worm-possessed gimp-masked soldiers, and Rip Torn spewing evil portents on top of a temple. This is a movie made by people who clearly love the works that inspired their film. And with sheer gumption, they leapfrogged "good movie" and landed on "great fun." I'll take that any day of the goddamn week.

[I'd watched this as a child on basic cable and remembered almost nothing beyond frightening images like the eye-ring and the worm going in the guy's head.]
Sep 19, 2017 6:09 AM
Stu
DaMUNeedless to say, but the movie sucked dirt.

You mean the new IT movie? Aw, I liked it...

Oh, I was referring to The Dark Tower. IT was solid, good work.
Sep 17, 2017 7:44 PM
Watched Creepy, Kiyoshi Kurosawa's more recent horror-thriller, and it's damn good. In some ways it spits the difference between Cure and Tokyo Sonta, folding the domestic discomforts of the latter with the serial killer and mesmerism (but not really) elements of the former, to confident effect. Sometimes Kurosawa's movies get a little too glacial and inscrutable for its own good (for me, anyway, especially stuff like Charisma) and falls into indulgence, but this one is straightforward, uneasy, and true to its title, really fucking creepy.
Sep 17, 2017 7:45 AM
Needless to say, but the movie sucked dirt.
Sep 17, 2017 7:37 AM
Suck on that.

Especially you, Maxrenn.
Sep 17, 2017 7:35 AM
Popcorn Reviews13 movies where someone wakes up from a nightmare only to find out they're still dreaming

1. An American Werewolf In London
2. Shrek 3
3. Star Trek: First Contact
4. Inception
5. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie

1. An American Werewolf In London
2. Shrek 3
3. Star Trek: First Contact
4. Inception
5. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie
6. In the Mouth of Madness
Sep 13, 2017 12:19 AM
Regardless of the Tomatometer and its issues, I love that the overall studio takeaway is to hide bad movies until release (and whine) instead of working on making better movies.
Sep 13, 2017 12:18 AM
Steve BrandonWhich cut of the film is it? Is it one of the three cuts represented on the Blu-Ray or is there a fourth cut now?

It is one of my favourite films and I have never seen it on the big screen due to having been only 3 when it came out. I might catch it later in the week but that's not a guarantee simply because I don't have much money (and, while there is cheap Tuesday in Canada, it would mean I'd have to sacrifice going to one of the last few Kanata Cruise Night classic car shows of the year on a near-guaranteed sunny day, which is best for photography).

It's the "collector's edition" cut that retains most of the director's cut additions but doesn't include Roy's scenes inside the mother ship. Which is, in my mind, the best cut.
Sep 10, 2017 11:21 PM
Matt Norcross
Sorcerer Supreme NamelessThat's a massive fucking opening. Wow

The WB factor, of course, makes me pissy

The success of IT definitely should make Warner Bros. happy. They've had a pretty hard time recently, seeing how movies such as Jupiter Ascending and Pan flopped.

Stephen King should also be happy about this, seeing how Sony screwed up The Dark Tower so badly according to RT.

They've been having a pretty terrific year, though, given the big success of Wonder Woman and the moderate-but-firm success of Annabelle: Creation, Kong: Skull Island, Dunkirk, and The Lego Batman Movie. Justice League might tank, but I doubt it with the way they're positioning it as Wonder Woman and Friends.
Sep 10, 2017 11:19 PM
Robin McDonaldThese guys had a weird relationship to film violence. Ebert had Knight in Shining armor syndrome for women who had to do nude scenes. Siskel had a fetish against
bad fathers in films because I think he believed he was a good father and because he was dying.

Siskel had a long-running hatred of child endangerment; he thought it was a tacky and cheap way to build suspense.
Sep 10, 2017 8:45 PM
I loved that he loved From Beyond, of all things, and even said it was better than Aliens. That's the kind of weird take we need, not this unified monolithic vanilla go-with-the-crowd nonsense. Oh, my God, Siskel could've broken the Tomatometer for so many movies, and what then?!

Looked up their yearly Top Tens because I remembered Siskel had the good taste to include The Fly as one of the best films of 1986, and so here are the times they agreed on the best movie of the year:

1969 - Z
1972 - The Godfather
1975 - Nashville
1983 - The Right Stuff
1989 - Do the Right Thing
[The 1980s] - Raging Bull
1990 - Goodfellas
1993 - Schindler's List
1994 - Hoop Dreams
1996 - Fargo
Sep 10, 2017 5:48 PM
Janson JinnistanOK, truther talk: ?Which posters here didn't get LilyVon's nude PMs?

I wasn't around at the time, but I've heard that her nudes were in the country before 9/11, were not bothering to learn how to land, and were receiving handsome support from Arab sheiks. ?Many of these nudes were, apparently, willfully ignored by RT authorities, but I stop short of implying complicity. ?Although I don't believe these PMs to be an "inside job", I do, however, have strong suspicions that they were used as pretext to rollout an unnecessary invasion of VNN (or, as LilyVon put it, "the Fatherland").

I didn't, and I'm cool with it.
Sep 9, 2017 2:58 AM
Richie's response to learning about old Derry beaver trappers threw my theater into chaos. Finn Wolfhard is going places.
Sep 9, 2017 2:55 AM
Good movie.

Not a great one.

But good.

Maybe even damn good.

Amazing child performances. You will fall in love with some of these kids. Not just the creative swearing (which is wonderful), but the plausibility of their familiarity with each other, the way they overlap; running jokes between them that feel well-worn (one boy's mother is a constant target). [I imagine most will fall in love with Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak - Richie's motormouth swearing is perfectly matched to Finn Wolfhard.]

Never as dreadful and truly frightening as you'd hope, playing instead with the spook-a-blast creativity of "Drag Me to Hell" or (at its best) "Poltergeist." There's a blood flood here worthy of "Evil Dead II" and a throwdown in a haunted house that provides the film's peak; Muschietti doesn't like to simmer the violence when he can crank the stovetop to boil.

It takes some time for the flick's story to ramp up, as the kids initially seem weirdly disinterested in discussing their experiences with Pennywise (the film has trouble establishing that the experiences even linger with them). That hurts the film, as you could re-arrange the first five or six Big Scares without changing the drama surrounding them. (One scare sequence resolves with an uptempo montage of bathroom cleanup.)

And there are too many times where Pennywise leans on familiar CG twitchery from lesser horror films. I got used to that style and even came to like a few of his more outlandish iterations, but it yanks the film back down to Earth and forces you to remember that Muschetti's "Mama" was best when it withheld its monster and, I dunno, tolerable (?) when Mama showed up.

But the film ultimately works on that backbone of empathetic child performances, the (slow) accretion of their shared experiences with It, and the hints that Derry's rotten to its core. I wish they explored that element more, since King wrote Derry as the Hill House of small towns, locked in mutual corrosion with Pennywise, but the hints of that decay lurk at the edges, most notably when a pharmacist plays friendly with the underage Bev. Eww.

If you're expecting something with the calm follow-through of Reiner's "Misery" or the atmospheric discomforts of "The Shining," you won't be thrilled by "IT," and on that level you can not-unfairly call the flick a missed opportunity. But what you've got is a solid spookhouse film with an endearing emotional core.

Put it in the recent win column for King, alongside "11.22.63," which I hope you all watched, because the ending gave me man tears.
Sep 8, 2017 5:21 AM
Everyone except for Bad Ape in War For the Planet of the Apes.
Sep 8, 2017 1:06 AM
Oxnard MontalvoI just wanted a president who thinks we should do something about global warming.


It's mind-blowing how little Obama was able to get done. The Paris Accords were a necessary step, but they should've happened years ago.

And now there's Trump, who probably giggled when Inhofe chucked that snowball in Congress.
Sep 7, 2017 4:10 AM
crumbsroom
Takoma1
Also, I'm continuing to make my way through It. I'm about 350/1100 pages in. My main takeaway is that this book is like having a conversation with a child with very classic ADHD issues--distracted by every shiny little tangent that could possibly be explored. It's like--you're telling me about this kid, please don't take five pages to tell me the history of the snowglobe on the bookshelf.

I'd could be fine with all of King's inconsequential tangents if he was a good enough writer to pull them off. But he's not. I can actually read someone like Dickens talk about the contents of a cutlery drawer for a full page, since even if this isn't adding to the thrust of the story, he is so great with language and wit I'm fine just listening to him riff. The reality is you have to be really really good to get away with that nonsense. King, for whatever his positives are (and he definitely has some, mostly in his earlier years) is just a complete drag whenever falls off of the plot though. He is a predominant mix of boring and juvenile in these moments, and it becomes hard to see what he is actually good at when you get stuck in his unedited murk.
At 12 years old It was my favourite book of all time. It may have even been my favourite thing of all time, more than any piece of music or film or probably even better than most of my friends. But trying to re read it ten years ago or so was a big mistake. It just made me think that my taste sucked when I was a kid, and there was so much of his meandering bullshit all through it that I was sad when I had to completely bail on this nostalgia trip before even coming close to finishing. Thankfully, this made me decide to keep far away from a rereading of the Stand for the rest of my life. I at least need to keep pretending he made one masterpiece.

If I remember right, his favorite of his works is The Dead Zone, and in general I'd agree with you that the shorter he is the better he is. [We were both appraising his short fiction in that horror anthology thread.] His best works generally are his shorter novels, stuff like Salem's Lot and The Shining and Misery and (I'd say) The Green Mile, where he doesn't have time to fall into his small-town-building labyrinths of story like The Tommyknockers and Needful Things, or the high-concept weirdo go-nowheres like Black House and Dreamcatcher. Gun to my head, I couldn't even tell you what the former was about, except that its climax amounts to yet another plug for The Dark Tower.

That said, I do have real affection for the lightning-paced Under the Dome, which often played like the world's goofiest, nastiest shaggy dog story (the meth lab explosion at the climax is as horrifying as anything the man's ever written). And I think The Stand holds up, provided you're reading the original edit and not the brick-sized re-release. I think King taps into a vivid sense of "mythic Americana" (or whatever you'd call it); building a fantasy quest journey out of the Lincoln Tunnel, Indiana oil drums, and Las Vegas plane strips still feels potent and meaningful. I will always love the story conceit that we're one EMP blast or flu strain away from telling fairy tale stories under weathered Phillips 76 signs.
Sep 7, 2017 3:17 AM
I keep trying to imagine what the core hope of the Trump voter was, and I don't think it's a hope anymore.

I think it was a sentiment, and a very simple one:

Fuck you.

Trump hates women, minorities, he's a total hypocrite and a con artist.

I don't care, fuck you.

But he doesn't keep any of his promises, he didn't lock up Hillary, he's not draining the swamp.

Yeah, but fuck you.

We now have records of his son pursuing collusion with Russians.

So what? Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you.

He can't even denounce Nazis without it becoming some week-long debacle.

Fuck you.

He's the most unpresidential president we've had in decades and decades, and possibly the stupidest.

I feel like you're not listening when I'm looking you in the eye and saying FUCK YOU.
Sep 7, 2017 2:41 AM
James MacKinnon
Sorcerer Supreme NamelessFuck, its not going away. Ugh, I guess The Accountant is a more capable movie than Suidienebfjsdnfuck but seriously. I guess that Gavin is all around way better than David Ayer... No he directed The Accountant. Have you watched that movie yet, Janson!?

I actually like most of Ayer's work.... But god damn Suicide Squad was bad. Can't believe WB is doubling down with a sequel, or a Joker Origin movie.... or a lot of the things they're doing.?

They'd be silly not to make a sequel, the first one was a shock success. Maybe craziest was how it had legs despite the fact that it's about as objectively bad as a movie can be.

[And I wouldn't mind a sequel provided they have good material, as I thought Viola Davis, Will Smith, and Margot Robbie paired well to their roles.]
Sep 7, 2017 2:09 AM
No. They're the only ones smiling during this catastrophic shitshow.
Sep 7, 2017 2:07 AM