Watching Movies Alone with crumbsroom

Original Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 11056
Coming soon on Watching Movies Alone with crumbsroom.

Drunken ramblings!

Tangents that lead towards oblivion!

Justifications for utter garbage!

Misused commas, run on sentences and misguided semi colons!

Everything that no one wants!

2014 is here, the year that I try and keep some kind of record of all the junk I watch so I have proof that it actually happened. That, yes, I really did watch that movie, even though I have absolutely no recollection of it. And this is what I thought when it was all over.

What is to come will not be exactly reviews of films, or recommendations, and certainly not essays. It will be little more than me writing about something that I liked in a film, whether I actually liked the film or not. Maybe it will be an idea that it put in my head as I watched it, or a scene that I thought was pretty sweet, or maybe it will just be about the absolute confusion I felt as some movie that happened to be way over my head made me feel like a complete dope.

So let the blather begin. My fingers are already eager to start hitting all the wrong keys.
Jan 20, 2014 8:46 PM
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MKS
Joined: Jul 2006
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Make with the movie talks, crummy!
Jan 20, 2014 8:49 PM
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Having a terrible time with RT so I'm not going to go through the bother of formatting everything onto this to have it get lost. For now I'll just provide the link to the blog that I just wrote this on.

Psychomania

For those terrified of spoilers (which I generally am) I makes sure to never reveal any major plot turns or anything that can't be gleaned from reading the back of the box, or watching the first 15 minutes of a film. I will probably occassionally write about specific scenes in some detail, so I guess those are kinda spoilers, but the things I usually write about end up being mostly incidental to any kind of great reveals in the plot. Because plot sucks and who cares about that?
Jan 20, 2014 9:12 PM
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This will likely be the best thread on RT right now. With the possible exception of horrorcram, of course. But this has a higher up side.
Jan 20, 2014 9:34 PM
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You had me until I had to read stuff on another site. Oh well... have fun with it.
Jan 20, 2014 9:36 PM
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ZBigRedDogZ;20773854This will likely be the best thread on RT right now. With the possible exception of horrorcram, of course. But this has a higher up side.


I will take your profound overestimation of my abilities as a wonderful compliment.
Jan 20, 2014 9:39 PM
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crumbsroom;20773828Because plot sucks and who cares about that?

Jan 20, 2014 9:39 PM
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Death Proof;20773856You had me until I had to read stuff on another site. Oh well... have fun with it.


crumbsroom should just copy/paste his reviews into RT. Or are you trying to get website hits for some reason?
Jan 20, 2014 9:40 PM
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Death Proof;20773856You had me until I had to read stuff on another site. Oh well... have fun with it.


I'll likely edit it in when I'm at work tomorrow. I have better luck with long posts on my computer there for some reason.
Jan 20, 2014 9:42 PM
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Did my whole post disappear? Unbelievable.

I'm not typing it all out again.

Looking forward to your 2014 movie watching and will be posting!!
Jan 20, 2014 9:47 PM
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Posts: 11056
[CENTER]THE ETERNALLY PIMPLED DAMNATION OF THE LIVING DEAD
[/CENTER]

[CENTER][ATTACH]71225[/ATTACH]


MOVIE: Psychomania
DIRECTOR: Don Sharp
SOMETHING I LIKE: Nihilism: Living Dead style

[/CENTER]

Into the frame they ride, hunkered down on their motorcycles, silently winding in slow motion round slabs of rock that stand solemnly like tombstones. Obscured in an English fog so thick that it could nearly get snagged in their ever turning spokes, these riders appear as little more than glum, leathery shadows as they churn round and round their cemetery like surroundings. These are the images that Psychomania open up with; hazy glimpses into some sort of motorcycle afterlife where the only sound to be heard is the music played on the score, a slow and hypnotic guitar line that seems to wobble with every dangerous turn that they make. Even the heavy sound of their engines has been shut off from us, as if we were seeing them from a distance, and so there is nothing to disrupt us from this spell of watching them ride.

In time though, as this opening sequence finishes and the movie must apparently commence, these bikers, as if they are all silently being called towards something, begin to drift out from this haunted place and start to ride single file towards who knows where. As they leave, barreling towards whatever action they happen to find that night, there is a sense that whatever it is will be of considerably less importance than this moment we?ve just witnessed. Before we?ve even seen any of their faces, each of them hidden behind the skull emblazoned helmets they all wear, it is clear that these opening scenes are the very essence of these characters. All they truly need is to be in a place where all that matters is to feel that rumbling between their legs, and believe that there never need be any particular place to go, or any particular thing to do once they get there.

[CENTER][ATTACH]71229[/ATTACH]
There's no end of air to catch in Motorcycle Heaven

[LEFT]Of course, it is only a matter of time before all of this between-the-leg rumblings leads to two members of the gang separating from the pack to go for a quick snog somewhere private. This is where we will be introduced to Tom, the gangs leader, whose obsession with death, and coming back from the dead, make it so he can hardly get through a kiss before he?s off and ranting about suicide pacts again. His girl, Abby, soon finds it to be a frustrating experience, and must silently wonder if she can ever get Tom to at the very least take off his leather jacket before he goes off on some new tangent about the virtues of returning from the grave. And, boy, has he got plans once he does, big plans, which he seems terribly excited about, yet never seems to bother actually articulating.

Lucky for Tom, and the fact that he lives in a home with a clairvoyant mother, a butler who never seems to age, and a mysterious locked room that holds incredible secrets, it will not take him long before he pieces his strange family history together, and figures out the secrets of cheating death and eternal life. But once he?s achieved his goal of returning from the grave, stronger, faster, and meaner than ever, the question quickly becomes exactly what does he now plan to do with all of this time he now has. What do you do when you?re young, angry and have an eternity to kick over pyramids of canned peas at the local shopping center?

[CENTER][ATTACH]71227[/ATTACH]
An eternity of hating The Man invariable leads to a cleanup on Aisle 7
[/CENTER]


This is where some of the horror of Psychomania is hidden, this notion of being trapped in fruitless, teenaged nihilism for the rest of one?s existence. Tom?s enthusiasm for eternal life unfortunately has that built in caveat that youth is, almost always, wasted on the young. Much of its allure ends up being at its shiniest only when gazed at through a rear-view mirror. But in Tom?s case his rear-view will only ever allow him to get glimpses of the smouldering wrecks of whatever pointless havoc he?s most recently created; and with absolute no end of speed limits he can ignore, or cops he can flip off, not to mention an entire universe of weekends where he can wrack up, and then walk out on, his bartabs, its all destined to get really boring, really soon.


Unless, of course, he really does have some plans for the long haul. In typical teenage fashion there certainly does seem to be in a twinkle in his eye that he sees something great for him down the road...fame, success, world domination...something that he?s sure that one day he will get around to. Maybe tomorrow. Or the next day. But until then, all it seems that he wants to do is just going to loiter about his home town and try to draw as many dirty looks from the pedestrians as possible, maybe even run down a few killjoys along the way. With a whole eternity ahead of him, there?s no rush. He can put the future off forever if he likes, and like any pointless teenager, this will most likely be exactly what he does.

And so with Tom?s future now beginning to come ever clearer to the viewer, one can only begin to think back of those majestic opening scenes of motorcycles circling each other in the graveyard, round and round until the end of time. Now though, knowing what we now realize will be the fate that endless youth has granted them, it is hard to see these images so much as some sort of ideal and mysterious afterlife for the teenage dead to haunt and ride and get their kicks in. It now seems like a purgatory, where there will never be any particular place to go, ever again.


[/LEFT]
[/CENTER]
Jan 20, 2014 9:52 PM
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Well, it actually went through, but all the pictures got stupid sized, and the formatting didn't translate very well. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers
Jan 20, 2014 9:58 PM
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 11056
Well, it actually went through, but all the pictures got stupid sized, and the formatting didn't translate very well. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.
Jan 20, 2014 9:59 PM
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Posts: 11056
post tenebras lux;20773870Did my whole post disappear? Unbelievable.

I'm not typing it all out again.

Looking forward to your 2014 movie watching and will be posting!!


This place has just been the worst the last few weeks. Half of the things I write I generally just give up on trying to post since they just get hung up for an eternity, or completely disappear.
Jan 20, 2014 10:03 PM
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RT is Satan. I'm now sure of it.
Jan 20, 2014 10:11 PM
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Pyschomania has everything you want from a cult film including Beryl Reid. Fun movie. I'll be reading.
Jan 21, 2014 1:42 AM
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I'll be reading. And occasionally hammering on the keyboard, hoping to output something vaguely coherent.
Jan 21, 2014 5:10 AM
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Also, word of advice, get a photobucket account and resize the images before you upload them. It's much easier to manage that way.
Jan 21, 2014 5:24 AM
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Maybe you can merge your Fassbinder viewings into this one, you lazy bastard.

[spoiler]I kid. Always enjoy reading what you have to say.[/spoiler]
Jan 21, 2014 6:32 AM
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Posts: 11056
Rock;20773981I'll be reading. And occasionally hammering on the keyboard, hoping to output something vaguely coherent.


Random keyboard jangling is a preferred style of mine as well

[QUOTE]Also, word of advice, get a photobucket account and resize the images before you upload them. It's much easier to manage that way. [/QUOTE]

It's generally what I do, but I was super lazy last night and so I literally just cut and pasted the whole thing. RT was so cruel to me yesterday that I couldn't bear actually putting forth the effort of resizing everything than have it all vanish into a black hole.
Jan 21, 2014 7:01 AM
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