Anybody listen to "Dirty John"?

Original Poster
Joined: Oct 2013
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It's pretty great and harrowing. Great ending as well. One thing that I struggled with is that the mother, Debra, seems to be so unbelievably stupid.
Nov 7, 2017 2:14 AM
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What is it? So, no, I guess is the answer to the thread question.
Nov 7, 2017 2:24 AM
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Dirty John is a six part true crime podcast by the New York TImes about a man who is a sociopathic con-artist who latches onto a wealthy woman and her family. The story is mostly told through interviews with her and her family, as well as some of the people that grew up with him. It's more compelling than it sounds and the ending is shocking.
Nov 8, 2017 4:39 PM
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It's good.
Nov 8, 2017 4:40 PM
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ZubenIt's good.

For those of you who are perfect and correct people who don't listen to podcasts, it's also a series of articles. The story is pretty crazy:?http://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-dirty-john/
Nov 8, 2017 5:04 PM
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This is a great story, with an almost-implausibly cinematic ending. Whether it's a great podcast, I'm not so sure. I didn't read the LA Times story (though after listening, I did skim it a bit, mostly to look at the photographs), but at times it seemed like an imperfect translation from written journalism to podcast, and played a bit rough. It ultimately doesn't matter whether you listen to the podcast or read the articles, I don't think; people should just get ahold of this story.

Re: Deb, I'm kind of sympathetic, mainly because there is something deeply wrong in that family tracing back to at least the grandmother. The attitude that the grandmother takes regarding the fate of Deb's sister is pathological and that has to have had some effect on Deb. You stir that in with some post-menopausal loneliness and you're going to get some batshit rationalizing of terrible behavior.
Nov 12, 2017 4:13 AM
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Meow
ZubenIt's good.

For those of you who are perfect and correct people who don't listen to podcasts, it's also a series of articles. The story is pretty crazy:?http://www.latimes.com/projects/la-me-dirty-john/

Thanks, that's a good read.
My aunt married a guy who was a bit of a sociopath, varying between seemingly decent and bizarrely abusive. She died of cancer while with him and he got everything that wasn't in the will. We didn't think he gave her cancer, but he was certainly very efficient in dealing with her death.
Nov 12, 2017 5:26 AM
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ej
Joined: Oct 2010
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That was a pretty mesemerizing read. That guy sounds like a composite of the two guys my mom went on to marry after she divorced my dad. She was pretty love-starved and had inherited several million dollars from her father, something which is obviously not a good combination when it comes to avoiding predatory men.

The first stepdad was a straight-up psychopath, big and burly like John, and, when not physically abusive, intimidating as hell. After my parents' divorce I went to live with my mom, and my brother with my dad. So between my brother and me, I experienced most of the abuse, and witnessed plenty (i.e., daily) abuse of my mother, some of which included violent rape. (I never slept. Ever. Fights raged on all night and I, at 14 years old, was on a first-name basis with the police.) However, he had a bigger hard-on for my brother, who was more of a threat as he's bigger and stronger than me, and he always managed to start something with him on the few occasions my brother came to visit. On one occasion he genuinely tried to kill my brother (I won't go into those details), but the resolution to that story was cinematic, awesome and fucking satisfying as hell, as my brother, in a rage, went down to the basement, ripped off wall the retarded-ass airplaine propeller my stepdad somehow thought was a cool decoration, and smashed him over the back of his neck with it. Only at the last moment did my brother decide not to go for the head. I mean, fuck, that was a beautiful sight. And sound.

My mom took years to . . . forgive my brother for that.

The second guy was more of a schlub, but no less of a con-man and sociopath. His big contribution to the aforementioned composite figure was that he straight up stole 220 grand from me and my brother. He also, inexplicably, found a way to meddle with my mom's will when she was incapacitated--phyiscally, but more so mentally--in the hospital for a year after serious heart surgery. (Most of this time was spent in a mental ward.) Dude's dead (died of cancer last year, and no memorial service was held as no one would come), and my mom's will is now set up so that when she goes, what's left of her depleted fortune goes to this shithead's kids. And there's nothing anyone can do about this, partially because my mom is a Debra-esque in-denial trainwreck (and also a permanent resident of la-la land), but mostly because my brother and me are exhausted and simply don't even care anymore.

Don't know why I shared this. Maybe it's because I'm now having to deal with fucking psychopaths on the other side of the ocean. Happy Tiggs Day!
Nov 12, 2017 5:00 PM
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ejThat was a pretty mesemerizing read. That guy sounds like a composite of the two guys my mom went on to marry after she divorced my dad. She was pretty love-starved and had inherited several million dollars from her father, something which is obviously not a good combination when it comes to avoiding predatory men.

The first stepdad was a straight-up psychopath, big and burly like John, and, when not physically abusive, intimidating as hell. After my parents' divorce I went to live with my mom, and my brother with my dad. So between my brother and me, I experienced most of the abuse, and witnessed plenty (i.e., daily) abuse of my mother, some of which included violent rape. (I never slept. Ever. Fights raged on all night and I, at 14 years old, was on a first-name basis with the police.) However, he had a bigger hard-on for my brother, who was more of a threat as he's bigger and stronger than me, and he always managed to start something with him on the few occasions my brother came to visit. On one occasion he genuinely tried to kill my brother (I won't go into those details), but the resolution to that story was cinematic, awesome and fucking satisfying as hell, as my brother, in a rage, went down to the basement, ripped off wall the retarded-ass airplaine propeller my stepdad somehow thought was a cool decoration, and smashed him over the back of his neck with it. Only at the last moment did my brother decide not to go for the head. I mean, fuck, that was a beautiful sight. And sound.

My mom took years to . . . forgive my brother for that.

The second guy was more of a schlub, but no less of a con-man and sociopath. His big contribution to the aforementioned composite figure was that he straight up stole 220 grand from me and my brother. He also, inexplicably, found a way to meddle with my mom's will when she was incapacitated--phyiscally, but more so mentally--in the hospital for a year after serious heart surgery. (Most of this time was spent in a mental ward.) Dude's dead (died of cancer last year, and no memorial service was held as no one would come), and my mom's will is now set up so that when she goes, what's left of her depleted fortune goes to this shithead's kids. And there's nothing anyone can do about this, partially because my mom is a Debra-esque in-denial trainwreck (and also a permanent resident of la-la land), but mostly because my brother and me are exhausted and simply don't even care anymore.

Don't know why I shared this. Maybe it's because I'm now having to deal with fucking psychopaths on the other side of the ocean. Happy Tiggs Day!

What's your relationship to your mom like that she won't put you back in her will? Do you two still talk?
Nov 12, 2017 5:22 PM
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ej
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 3721
Zuben
What's your relationship to your mom like that she won't put you back in her will? Do you two still talk?

She's in hospice, a term which I guess means these days that she's not necessarily on death's doorstep, but just that she's on her last stop.

You can't hold a conversation with her. She doesn't know her grandson's name. She says a male nurse there pitches a tent in her room before she goes to bed and comes out during the night and molests her.

She's gone. But she was never really there, anyway.

I was estranged from her for several years--after she inevitably turned on me despite the fact that I was the only one who stood by her for years--but she, of course, has no recollection whatsoever about the cause of our falling-out. I don't keep in touch with her that much mainly because I'm not going to drop sixty bucks on a phone call that she won't even remember five minutes after she hangs up.

And everyone on her side of the family avoided her for years, simply because she was unpleasant. Now that they have to deal with her they're finally understanding, or at least getting a sniff of, what we went through.
Nov 12, 2017 5:32 PM
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I hope, at least, that you and your brother close at the other end of all that, EJ?
Nov 12, 2017 5:52 PM
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My family sociopath is an uncle who convinced his mother, in her 90s with declining mental faculties at the time (she passed a decade ago), to give him the lion's share of her estate in her will. Meanwhile my dad and his other brother had spent decades doing uncompensated work for her, including things like driving her to Florida once a year. Uncle Don kept telling her about all that he had done for her to the point that he had her convinced that Uncle Don was the only one who supported her. After she changed the will, my dad stopped talking to her and to Uncle Don. After grandma's funeral, Uncle Don continued chiseling to consolidate some real estate holdings from her estate, lowballing my dad, knowing my dad would rather eat shit than have to deal with Uncle Don in court. My father will hold this grudge, similar to the ones he holds against the steakhouse that was out the microbrew he wanted on his birthday and the Friendly's that failed to serve him and mom for 45 minutes despite their repeated patronage and countless other businesses that failed him, until the day he dies.

Two of my sister's kids don't talk to her, one of them for a decade at this point. My sister is fine with that. This is how wirthlings roll.

Sorry about your mom, ej.
Nov 12, 2017 6:11 PM
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My story sucks compared to ej's and Dirty John's. Uncle Don is more of a dick than a sociopath, I guess.

But he is also one of those people who, when he's driving a car full of people, turns around to converse with people in the back seat and keeps not looking at the road for far too long, ignoring his passengers' abject fear and pleas to watch the road ahead. Traumatized me to the point that it drives me crazy when people do that in TV shows and movies.
Nov 12, 2017 6:28 PM
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ej
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 3721
PaquitoI hope, at least, that you and your brother close at the other end of all that, EJ?

Yeah, I've always been cool with my brother. I mean, he's been estranged from my mom for, like, three long periods in his adult life, and the only reason I didn't ditch her as well for her transgressions on those occasions was, stupidly, to try to be some kind of mediator. When she finally turned on me, he, though she hadn't done anything directly to him, basically said "fuck her for good," too. So I appreciated that solidarity.

He lives across the ocean, though, and we only really communicate through Steam. He designs video games, and for a while there I was beta-testing a lot of cool stuff (which I, lamely, can't name. Non-disclosure agreements, suckaz!) But my PC went kaput about a year ago, so I haven't been talking to him as much.
Nov 12, 2017 7:27 PM
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ej
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 3721
wirthling
Sorry about your mom, ej.

I haven't been close with my mom since, well, ever.

So it's all good!

Sorry to hijack the thread. But we can make this a #MeToo thing, if everyone wants! You can even make shit up, if you feel left out.

And Rabid, sorry. None of your shit here. You can start your own #MeatEw thread.
Nov 12, 2017 7:31 PM
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