Donner Discusses and Reviews Every Single Star Trek Episode and Movie: The Returnining

Original Poster
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 11353
Old Thread:

http://forum-origin.rottentomatoes.com/topic/show/819118?page=1

Greetings, bitches, remember me?

That's right... it's me, Donner. I'm back and so is this thread.

All right, the original thread is not back because, apparently, it's unbumpable, but I'm back and so is Star Trek on television which, like a siren's song, has lured me back to Rotten Tomatoes to burden people with my opinions.

So, yes... I'm back and it's time to fully catch this review thread up before Star Trek Discovery comes along to kick us all in the dick.
Sep 24, 2017 12:35 AM
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Sep 24, 2017 12:41 AM
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Need Photoshop contest. Now.
NOW.
Sep 24, 2017 2:51 AM
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Star Trek Beyond
July 22, 2016



The Enterprise is toast, the crew is scattered, and an alien warlord wants to use a biological weapon to destroy millions of lives. What's a captain to do?

Without a doubt, Star Trek Beyond is the best of the Kelvin timeline Star Trek movies. If you've been disappointed by the first two, well, for one, you're a gigantic wet blanket because the first two were fine, but Beyond does seem to go out of its way to answer some of the critical cries and whines that have been lobbed at it by entitled shitty fans.

For one, it's a lot lighter in tone despite the fact that bad things are happening. Where, admittedly, the first two films were dark and gritty in many ways, Beyond is a joy. It's fun, it's exciting, it had several very impressive action sequences... it's just wonderful.

The characters - and I do mean all of them - are allowed to have their place in the sun making Beyond the best use of the Star Trek ensemble in a film since... ever. Really. Maybe Star Trek IV.

I'm not knocking the old movies because you know I love them as well, but in Beyond, all of the crew have things to do and none of them are relegated to background characters as we've often seen before. Remember what Uhura was up to in The Wrath of Khan?= What was Doctor Crusher up to in Insurrection?= No one is left behind in Beyond and it's just awesome.

What?'s more is that, even though I?ve loved the Kelvin timeline movies, this is the first one where I feel like I'm actually watching Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Chekov, Sulu, Scotty, and Uhura and not just people dressed up like them. With Beyond, the new set of actors have claimed the roles as their own and are owning them to their fullest potential.? Chris Pine, for example, finally brings us the devil may care contemplative and slightly more mature Kirk instead of the slightly douchy frat boy we've come to know. McCoy and Spock are finally showing that begrudging respect for each other. Uhura is getting to be something other than Spock's girlfriend. Sulu is a family man. Chekov is apparently a whore.

Not only do the characters mean more this time around, but the action means more and even the sets mean more.? My god, when the Enterprise is destroyed in this movie (not a spoiler, I know you've seen the trailers), it really means something and it fucking hurts. I'll be so bold as to say that the destruction of the Enterprise in Beyond actually has more impact than the death of the Enterprise in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. There, Kirk was using the Enterprise as a diversion and an escape... in Beyond, Kirk and his crew are desperate to save their ship against something that it obviously cannot survive. It's a losing battle and it's absolutely heart-breaking.

Perhaps that's why I feel more connected with this movie than I have the other two. Beyond knows how to tug at your heartstrings. I actually teared up twice in this movie and both of those moments involved Leonard Nimoy's Spock. I won?t spoil it for you, but Nimoy makes two posthumous appearances in Star Trek Beyond and they are handled first perfectly and then unexpectedly and perfectly.

While the villain of the movie, Edris Elba's Kraal left a surprisingly light impact all things considered, I did enjoy the parallel drawn between him and Kirk a parallel that I am not going to get into because it?s a major spoiler. Basically, it becomes a matter of the Star Trek message of peace vs. today?s climate of hostility and xenophobia. For those of you crying about nuTrek not tackling any contemporary issues, there you go. I honestly don't understand how you can be so dull to miss it.

I've enjoyed the Kelvin Timeline Star Trek movies, but Beyond is a real return to classic form for this franchise... optimistic, character driven, and fun. proving that even after 50 years, there's still plenty of quality stories to tell and I'll be watching them until I finally croak... long before Star Trek ever will.



Donner awards Star Trek Beyond with a score of 4.5 out of 5 tribbles

Sep 24, 2017 3:34 AM
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Stu
Joined: Aug 2006
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Never saw Star Trek: Beyond, but still... DONNER!!!1
Sep 24, 2017 4:19 AM
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.........Benny hated that tribble episode from the original tv series...........give me space seed and the corbomite manouver any day.
Sep 24, 2017 4:27 AM
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 63360
Shonai ?Ben..........Benny hated that tribble episode from the original tv series...........give me space seed and the corbomite manouver any day.

People who talk about themselves in the third person need therapy. Or a swift kick in the ass.
Sep 24, 2017 4:31 AM
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Posts: 5670
Death Proof


Need Photoshop contest. Now.
NOW.

Indeed!
I'm not talented enough to Photoshop, but hot damn did I look forward to them.
Sep 24, 2017 1:12 PM
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Welcome back.



THERE IS NO ESCAPE!
Sep 24, 2017 6:58 PM
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 4441
Death Proof
Shonai ?Ben..........Benny hated that tribble episode from the original tv series...........give me space seed and the corbomite manouver any day.

People who talk about themselves in the third person need therapy. Or a swift kick in the ass.

The difference?
Sep 24, 2017 7:00 PM
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 63360
Rated NCC-1701
Death Proof
Shonai ?Ben..........Benny hated that tribble episode from the original tv series...........give me space seed and the corbomite manouver any day.

People who talk about themselves in the third person need therapy. Or a swift kick in the ass.

The difference?

One you pay for, the other is free.
Sep 24, 2017 8:14 PM
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Posts: 831
Is the main character of Discovery supposed to be hateful, evil, utterly unlikable, and completely opposed to every ideal Starfleet stands for?
Sep 25, 2017 1:55 AM
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 4441
I can only imagine the swarth of Trekkies/ers (or as Donner accurately deemed as "entitled shitty fans") filling the internet with bile about canon this and canon that regarding Discovery. The human divide continues.

Death Proof
Rated NCC-1701
Death Proof
Shonai ?Ben..........Benny hated that tribble episode from the original tv series...........give me space seed and the corbomite manouver any day.

People who talk about themselves in the third person need therapy. Or a swift kick in the ass.

The difference?

One you pay for, the other is free.

With the right approach and timing, both are free.
Sep 25, 2017 2:01 AM
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 13595
Rated NCC-1701With the right approach and timing, both are free.

Ooo, not all at once. Not instantly, to be sure.


I found Beyond boring overall, but I do agree that it's the first of the reboot series where the cast, especially Pine, seems to be natural in the characters.
Sep 25, 2017 2:16 AM
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 4441
Janson Jinnistan
Rated NCC-1701With the right approach and timing, both are free.

Ooo, not all at once. ?Not instantly, to be sure.


Doctor, you, of all people, should realize the danger of reopening old wounds.
Sep 25, 2017 2:28 AM
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 63360
Rated NCC-1701
Janson Jinnistan
Rated NCC-1701With the right approach and timing, both are free.

Ooo, not all at once. ?Not instantly, to be sure.


Doctor, you, of all people, should realize the danger of reopening old wounds.

Did he change his hair?
Sep 25, 2017 3:14 AM
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 4441
Death Proof
Rated NCC-1701
Janson Jinnistan
Rated NCC-1701With the right approach and timing, both are free.

Ooo, not all at once. ?Not instantly, to be sure.


Doctor, you, of all people, should realize the danger of reopening old wounds.

Did he change his hair?

He had to get back to Reliant in time to blow you to bits.
Sep 25, 2017 3:39 AM
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 11353
"The Vulcan Hello" & "Battle at the Binary Stars"
Star Trek: Discovery



After years of waiting and delays, Star Trek: Discovery is finally here. Is it the disaster that been rumored? Is it the next bold new chapter in Star Trek's history? Most importantly, is it worth spending $5.99 a month for?

The answer is no, yes, and it depends on how damn cheap you are. Seriously, you'll spend $8.99 on a cheeseburger meal, but not $5.99 for a month of Star Trek?

Ten years before the original series, we join Lieutenant Michael Burnham of the USS Discov... I mean the USS Shenzhou. A human raised by Vulcans who appears to finally be letting her hair down after years of that non-emotional logical bullshit, Burnham finds herself on the front lines of a brand new conflict with the Klingons when her ship stumbles upon an enemy ship waiting in a debris field. I could recap everything, but let's just say that some mistakes are made, things explode, lots of people die, and Burnham ends up all the worse by the time the inaugural episodes are over. Most Star Trek relies on hope, but it's pretty clear that this Star Trek is going to tear this poor woman down before building her back up again.

It's also unusual as the title ship of the series doesn't even make an appearance. That would be like the first episode of The Next Generation without the Enterprise or starting a Trek series with a pop song.

Okay, all kidding aside, Star Trek: Discovery is good. You can all relax. While the worth of the series isn't readily knowable as we're only two episodes in, Discovery has a lot of things working for it. For one, it is heavily serialized, allowing it to tell an overarching story without worrying about wrapping everything up with a bow at the end of an hour. ? As I said, this is all a trial by fire and, by the time episode two is over, everything is burned away and the thud of a life falling apart echoes through the end credits with all the appropriate somberness.

Discovery boasts some great characterization for a series only just starting out. While Sonequa Martin-Green is amazing as Burnham and the always lovely Michelle Yeoh was great as Captain Georgiou, I have to say that my favorite character was Doug Jone's Saru mostly because we haven't seen a character quite like him in Star Trek... cautious to the point of cowardice, sarcastic to a fault... he was a lot of fun to watch and, if I may sound weird and oddly homosexual for a moment, Doug Jone's has an incredible body... not that way, you perverts, but in the way that his entire impossibly skinny body simply looks alien.

Personally, I think he is one.

So, yes... it's good. It's well shot, well acted, and well written. The characters interacted with each other in a way that almost made me believe they'd been playing opposite each other for years.

Don't listen to the shitty Star Trek fans, Star Trek: Discovery is good. Time will tell if it becomes great, but for now it's good and, after a 16 year drought of Trek on television, I'm elated that it's back and looking better than ever.

Donner awards "The Vulcan Hello" 4 out of 5 tribbles and "The Battle at the Binary Stars" 4.5 out of 5 tribbles.
Sep 25, 2017 4:34 AM
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Posts: 11353
Rated NCC-1701Welcome back.


THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

I am not trapped here with you, you are trapped here with me.
Sep 25, 2017 4:38 AM
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I watched the premiere and then erased it. I won't be paying for it. It's beautifully shot though. To think that, according to the timeline, in ten years they go from tonight's show to the original's cardboard and Christmas lights. And it seemed like Michelle Yeoh's dialogue was dubbed in. Piddly complaint I know. But still, it's not worth rewarding the network's cash grab.
Sep 25, 2017 5:03 AM
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