24 Week (Weak) News Cycle

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 19178
I never know how to thank Sprague for his threads. CUNTS!!!! Will that do?
Sep 27, 2017 7:37 PM
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Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 8
I wish I had enough time to read all your posts, Sprague. These are works of art.
Sep 27, 2017 9:30 PM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 23127
Sprague pushed it to the limit. Metal as fuck, man.
Sep 27, 2017 9:41 PM
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 283
Japan's Minister for Pre-Teen Grot Mags Lost in Daze.

--Japan Today--

During a press conference today to discuss November shipments of Japan's all-important pre-teen grot mags, Japan's Minister for Pre-Teen Grot mags appeared to be lost in some sort of a cross-eyed kiddie rooting reverie.

"Minister, did you have a giant tug over the September issue yet? Minister?"

As holder of the most important parliamentary post in the land, presiding over the cultural and financial backbone of the entire Japanese economy, and thus placed in a position of intense public scrutiny on a daily basis, the Minister has at times allowed himself to wander away into what could only be classed as a daydreaming tog-touching trance.

"Minister are you in fact playing pocket pool right now with your left hand as you think about November's shipment of pre-teen grot mags? Minister? MINISTER! MINISTER, ANSWER ME YOU DOPEY BUNG-EYED WANKER."

The Minister is under intense public pressure due to the very nature of his job. 94 million subscribers to the popular monthly "Sprogs in Togs" will do that. The last time a monthly shipment ran late by just 14 seconds, almost immediately an estimated 87,000 Japanese pedo's hurled themselves in front of oncoming trains to end the anguish of being deprived for even one second of telephoto-lensed seaside pics of some sprog in their gruds building a fucken sandcastle.

"Minister, will there be a Sprogs in Togs seaside centerfold this December?
Sep 29, 2017 11:44 PM
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 283
Local Despot Has Sculptor Of Failed Family Crest Artwork Melted Down And Sprayed Directly Onto Failed Family Crest.

--NY Times--

A local despot, disappointed with a family crest that was lovingly hand-crafted for him over the course of the last 3 years, has had the craftsman responsible for the off-colour sculpture melted down and sprayed directly onto the crest.


--local despot (in foreground) and family crest (in background)

"If I wanted fucking yellow I would have asked for fucking yellow" sneered the vicious despot. "Keep it? No, I'm not going to fucking keep it. It's not gold. Like I fucking asked for. The dogs seem to like licking it, perhaps they can smell something on it that I cannot. I'll mount the yellow piece of shit in the servants quarters, to serve as a daily reminder to those gay black faggots down there as to what will happen if they fuck up too."

"Yellow? Fucking yellow? I piss on yellow."

"Now? What am I doing right now? Obviously, I'm pissing all over this fucking servant that I've just kicked unconscious, that's what I'm doing right fucking now. Cameras still rolling? ROLL ON, SONY MOTHERFUCKERS."

Oct 3, 2017 11:24 PM
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 283
Ivanka Trump Invites Nuremburg Barbie To Gitmo Black Ops Bukkake Shooting.

--USA Today--

Nuremburg Barbie has taken time out from her tequila-soaked defection in Mexico to make her way via underground tunnels to Gitmo with the express purpose of rendevouzing with President Trump's beautiful, beautiful daughter Ivanka Trump in order for the pair to take part in a highly classified US military black ops bukkake film shooting.

"We're doing it for the troops." said Ivanka (centre), pictured here still fully clothed.

According to one buck-naked General just off-camera, "we are treating this as a tactical military exercise, therefore at 0800 hours, once we have escorted the army chicks in camou's OUT of the fucken room, we are set to assemble with military precision into our python-formation bukkake queues. Then at 0810 hours, the platoon will instigate tugging it to Ivanka. Then, once we have eyes on The Prize, Codename Nuremburg Barbie, I repeat Codename Nuremburg Barbie, then we initiate payload paydirt man-spooge airborne drone strikes all over theface, boobs, eyelids, teeth, back teeth, back teeth fillings, and finally, the magnificent Trumpian-pubed hair of the taco-faced Prize, hold on, word coming through, the army chicks have been booted, the camera's are set up, we are a go, I repeat, we are a go, platoon form up to commence and initiate Operation Nuremburg Barbie Pubus Memorandus."

Oct 6, 2017 9:08 AM
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 283
Nuremburg Barbie "Fuming" That Harvey Weinstein "Never Even Once" Tried To Rape Her.

--NY Times--

Nuremburg Barbie, speaking out from her new home in Mexico, having defected from the US earlier this year, is said to be "fuming" that Hollywood movie mogul and serial sex predator Harvey Weinstein "never even fucking once" tried to rape her.


"Not once" seethed the reptilian-countenanced former advisor to President Trump as she draped herself lasciviously across a chaise lounge, buck naked, legs akimbo, while slowly and absent-mindedly grinding yet another taco shell into the steel-jawed hunting trap between her legs that she called her vagina. "Oh that, it'll eat anything" she asided, waving off consternation before carrying on "I made sure I was alone with Harvey in a hotel room at least 400 times during the last 30 years and he never even made one single advance. Always just blinked out some variation of "who are you and what the fuck are you even doing here?"

"Dude, I'm a rapist, not a casting extra for

her day of the triffids gash with teeth."

"Hola, mein el pubus frackazoid le gash el diablo taco wedgie?"
--Nuremburg Barbie in Tijuana trying to buy more taco shells to mash into her sabre-toothed gash.

Oct 11, 2017 10:49 AM
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