How To Get To Heaven When You Die

Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 34871
I think most of the people who post here are atheists because they have read the bible.
Apr 8, 2017 3:40 AM
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 6
HOW TO GET TO HEAVEN WHEN YOU DIE - that's an easy one. Just get rich while you are alive and once you die, you simply pay god to let you in. That's the same policy like any other decent club has, keeping the bums out.
Apr 10, 2017 3:31 PM
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 20
wirthlingI think most of the people who post here are atheists because they have read the bible.

Reading the Bible is a good thing.
Apr 15, 2017 4:20 AM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 45057
Scott Lefler
wirthlingI think most of the people who post here are atheists because they have read the bible.

Reading the Bible is a good thing.

It has some good bits, admittedly.
Apr 15, 2017 5:30 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 14909
theVictorian
Scott Lefler
wirthlingI think most of the people who post here are atheists because they have read the bible.

Reading the Bible is a good thing.

It has some good bits, admittedly.

Haha, Biblehub.
Apr 15, 2017 7:39 AM
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 124
theVictorian
Scott Lefler
wirthlingI think most of the people who post here are atheists because they have read the bible.

Reading the Bible is a good thing.

It has some good bits, admittedly.

I prefer this one.

Though I suspect it doesn't get read very often in fundamentalist churches.
Apr 15, 2017 12:16 PM
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 45057
Lord Shang
theVictorian
Scott Lefler
wirthlingI think most of the people who post here are atheists because they have read the bible.

Reading the Bible is a good thing.

It has some good bits, admittedly.

I prefer this one.

Though I suspect it doesn't get read very often in fundamentalist churches.

Everyone loves a donkey dick.

This is fun too.
Apr 15, 2017 1:48 PM
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 45
Scott Lefler
MeowIs my man ej going to heaven? Cuz I'd rather skip salvation if I can't shoot the shit with my bros for eternity. ej, let me know where you are re: being saved.

No one is going to be talking or having any sort of a good time in hell. ?It's misery and despair and no hope of ever getting out for ever.

I am high I think I am as close to actual heaven as anyone in this world is going to get, then again I am also pretty fucked up, I saw a guy die on my doorstep screamed and ran inside, then I didn't come out for a year, true story.
Apr 20, 2017 11:03 AM
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Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 12285
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of.
Apr 20, 2017 6:37 PM
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 45
Bitch, there is only one way to heaven and it is this... Ya see a bright light? Say fuck you whitey, then you flash them your pussy and a guy comes up to you and it turns out he's a little weird and he has both, you deny his dick, but tell him to tuck it, and make himself look girly then you consider fucking him and you realize, holy shit, you're Jesus fucking Christ and then he pimp slaps you, you get into a fight, and if you when then you get to go to heaven but what the fuck do I know I am on a lot of shit.
Apr 21, 2017 1:49 AM
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 20
Scott Lefler
wirthlingI think most of the people who post here are atheists because they have read the bible.

Reading the Bible is a good thing.

Please take the time to read this first post and vote in the poll.
Apr 25, 2017 1:03 AM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 10581
Scott Lefler
Scott Lefler
wirthlingI think most of the people who post here are atheists because they have read the bible.

Reading the Bible is a good thing.

Please take the time to read this first post and vote in the poll.

How do you expect people to read and respond to your post when you refuse to read and respond to my post about how you're of the devil?
Apr 25, 2017 1:29 PM
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 124
Did we ever figure out how to get to heaven when we die? The first post was too long so I skipped it.

For the record, I've already accepted there is no god but God and Mohammed is his prophet. I'm reasonably certain that was the gist of post #1.
Apr 26, 2017 3:20 AM
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 20
Lord ShangDid we ever figure out how to get to heaven when we die? The first post was too long so I skipped it.

For the record, I've already accepted there is no god but God and Mohammed is his prophet. I'm reasonably certain that was the gist of post #1.

It literally takes about 3 minutes to read. ?Please read it. ?
May 2, 2017 1:20 AM
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 11830
Scott Lefler
Lord ShangDid we ever figure out how to get to heaven when we die? The first post was too long so I skipped it.

For the record, I've already accepted there is no god but God and Mohammed is his prophet. I'm reasonably certain that was the gist of post #1.

It literally takes about 3 minutes to read. ?Please read it. ?

I did read it and it really inspired me to get out of my house and just suck a bunch of dicks under the bridge by my apartment building. My GF is so mad!
May 2, 2017 1:52 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 14909
God I can't wait until everyone is gay. Mmm, I can taste it. It tastes like sofa pennies. Like fresh menstrual blood, I'm assuming. I can't wait for my moonritual to come to fruition. Mmmmmm.
May 2, 2017 1:58 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 14909
Zuben
Scott Lefler
Lord ShangDid we ever figure out how to get to heaven when we die? The first post was too long so I skipped it.

For the record, I've already accepted there is no god but God and Mohammed is his prophet. I'm reasonably certain that was the gist of post #1.

It literally takes about 3 minutes to read. ?Please read it. ?

I did read it and it really inspired me to get out of my house and just suck a bunch of dicks under the bridge by my apartment building. My GF is so mad!

Fuck pennies. We got Zuben? This shit tastes like shiny nickels. The taste of shiny, shiny success.
May 2, 2017 1:59 AM
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 20
Meow
Zuben
Scott Lefler
Lord ShangDid we ever figure out how to get to heaven when we die? The first post was too long so I skipped it.

For the record, I've already accepted there is no god but God and Mohammed is his prophet. I'm reasonably certain that was the gist of post #1.

It literally takes about 3 minutes to read. ?Please read it. ?

I did read it and it really inspired me to get out of my house and just suck a bunch of dicks under the bridge by my apartment building. My GF is so mad!

F@#k pennies. We got Zuben? This shit tastes like shiny nickels. The taste of shiny, shiny success.

????
May 5, 2017 10:15 PM
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 124
Scott Lefler
Lord ShangDid we ever figure out how to get to heaven when we die? The first post was too long so I skipped it.

For the record, I've already accepted there is no god but God and Mohammed is his prophet. I'm reasonably certain that was the gist of post #1.

It literally takes about 3 minutes to read. ?Please read it. ?

Can't you just link a chick tract? They have pretty pictures that make fundamentalism fun!

May 5, 2017 11:48 PM
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 10581
Scott Lefler
Lord ShangDid we ever figure out how to get to heaven when we die? The first post was too long so I skipped it.

For the record, I've already accepted there is no god but God and Mohammed is his prophet. I'm reasonably certain that was the gist of post #1.

It literally takes about 3 minutes to read. ?Please read it. ?

I promise to convince everyone to read it thoroughly if you praise Allah. Just once.
May 6, 2017 12:25 PM
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